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I am Here to embrace all of It,
with empty hands and holy trembles.

The one flesh Buddha/Christ/Mother/Tao
has been wounded and torn,
caressed and loved throughout eons,
still it remains unnamed and untouched, without blemish.
As do you and i dear friends.

Here — Now — we are holding hands,
as we pass through incalculable birthings and deathings
to an awareness that nothing ever happened.

It has been said that ‘the line between
the profound and the profane is as thin as fishing line’,
But how can we know?
For the One that carries us swallowed the line,
as we bit the hook that dangles us
between and beyond time and space–
with its knowings that crumble to unknowing…

It is Here the head does bow,
as the heart gives thanks to Grace and her wild ways.
United in freedom and inexpressible Love,
every song a prayer to know Itself as This.

I am Here to embrace all of It…..

 

 

with love and honor

sparrow

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Open to I Am.

Resign to let go of all that you are not.

The soul wanting freedom is grace.

Only by Love and only by Loving

is there residence within Divine Embrace.

To taste Love’s nectar one is the nectar.

Freedom is   non-doing.

Love, freedom, grace, peace, can not be defined,

they cannot be named.

They are the same Oneness.

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“By nature, we do not perceive ourselves or others accurately. We magnify the importance of ourselves and diminish that of others. In the beauty of a clear night, however, we look at the stars and feel ourselves small, unimportant, and at peace. On an objective scale, we sense our insignificance. Somehow the realization comforts us. The return of the illusion hurts us, takes our peace away, allows us to magnify slights, rejections, and humiliations as others challenge the illusion of our self-importance with theirs. It is in our human nature that this be so; it is our task to transcend it.”


Barry Grosskopf
Hidden in Plain Sight

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It has been years since i took the time to rewind a movie and write down the words being spoken. I did after watching Heaven and Earth. I think the last time was many years ago while watching the Piano. Something Ada said resonated with my life at that time of undergoing the beginning phases of awakening of K Ma without a frame, language, or understanding.

“At night! I think of my piano in its ocean grave, and sometimes of myself floating above it. Down there everything is so still and silent that it lulls me to sleep. It is a weird lullaby and so it is; it is mine. There is a silence where hath been no sound / There is a silence where no sound may be / In the cold grave, under the deep deep sea.”

I saw the Piano a year before going into the Void experience. I would lie still and meditate and would go to the ground of being, self would dissolve and there was just dark spaciousness without any sense of boundaries or self. Each time was a diving into dying and finding open expansion. The above words where like a godsend for they expressed a bit of the space where i did not have words.

These words by Phang Thi Le Ly captured so much  feel these  20 years later.

Heaven and Earth is an Oliver Stone movie, i believe the third in a trilogy of Vietnam. It portrays the life experience of Phang Thi Le Ly that co-authored the two memoirs on which the film is based. This is a great movie.

This part of the movie was when Thi Le Ly had returned to Vietnam, after coming to America where she continued to a new kind of hell with her American PTSD affected husband. The first is Thi Le Ly listening to her Mother’s final blessing of her life and then moves into a Le Ly reflecting on her life:

Le Ly’s Mother:  “My Le Ly you have completed your circle of growth; low tide to high tide, poor to abundant, sad to happy, beggar to be a fine lady, the past is now complete My destiny of your Mother is now over.”

Le Ly: “That night i slept in the house of father had built, afterward he found no need to visit me in my dreams.”

” I gave my offering to all the dead of the village. I had come home, yes. But home had changed and i would always be in between South and North, East and West, peace and war, Vietnam and America. It is my fate to be in between Heaven and Earth. When we resist our fate we suffer, when we accept it we are happy. We have time and abundance and eternity to repeat our mistakes, but we need only once correct our mistakes and are at last, hear the song of enlightenment, where we break the chain of vengeance forever. In your heart you can hear it now, it is the song your spirit has been singing since the moment of your birth.

If the monks are right and nothing happens without cause, then the gift of suffering is to bring us closer to God. To teach us to be strong where we are weak, to be brave when we are afraid, to be wise when we are in the midst of confusion, and to let go of that which we can no longer hold. Lasting victories are won in the heart,not on this land or that.”

I do not believe in suffering, but i have known suffering. . .and all people have varying degrees of suffering and it is possible to overcome suffering. Most of us come into the world whole but in darkened awareness of our wholeness, we quickly grow an ego that wants all kinds of things to fill the holes. We are born into a body that rises and falls, lives and dies, the body is corruptible and will go through a dying process that involves suffering for many people. To deny that for our self and especially as a judgment for others is to lose our compassion.

But having said that, I deeply believe it is possible to rise above suffering, for I have. There comes a place where as we loose attachment for the physical as being our identity. We are able to shift our identity to a truer space, and suffering turns into a pain that can more easily be released.

I have observed animals in pain. Often times veterinarians says that animals do not experience pain. I do not agree. They experience pain, but unlike us humans they do not contract and hold on to the pain. Most of our suffering comes from holding on to pain and turning it into a badge or identity, expressing as enhancement or deficiency. Ugh!. . .turning into neurosis. And those too can be endearing or maddening.

For me the process of becoming has led to transcending the attachment to suffering. I can best represent that with the simple Tao symbol. For years i danced back and forth with pain and pleasure, me not me, good and bad, all the dualities which clutch and pull one into wanting something other than how it is. When i was not accepting what is and thinking something out there could fill it or something that did not occur was the cause, that turned to suffering. But there comes a time we take responsibility and rather than projecting something unfinished or unacknowledged out there as the cause of our suffering we learn to contain it. At that place of containing something miraculous can occur instead of identifying with the yin/yang of suffering attachment/rejection, we can find with the circle that has everything within. At that place suffering dissolves and something else occurs; because we have learned to embrace all within, we find we can honor others and allow them to be as they are without judgment or contraction.

Suffering was once a teacher, and i gave suffering the knife time and time again she wielded it against me until one day i said, ” No more, i shall not resist, i embraced it all, come here dear suffering, for you are so afraid of dying, and suffering you are just a way to keep me separate from the most profound embrace of love and oneness with all. Come here suffering let me hold you for a moment as you disappear.”

Now i know suffering is so very different than pain, pain is part of life, and suffering is when i block or move into defense to keep from feeling what is . . . and what is amazing is once one can just feel “what is” without judgment, blame, or shame . . . it turns into  lightness and validation which strengthens the heart and soul.

Soon the embrace of life, both pain and pleasure, brought a wholeness  ” such as it is “, ” and this too”. . . .

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